Christmas dinners and university

I've just come to the end of my first semester at university and where did all that time go!? I've been in Manchester for 13 weeks now (which is longer than most of my friends at other universities) and it's just gone so fast, I started the semester off with a Geography field trip to Keswick and now I'm in my room deciding what to pack for christmas at home (I'm also wondering how I managed to pack for 2 months in the US yet I can't fit what I want to take home for christmas into my suitcase..).

So, a few things about my first semester (as told through the multiple christmas dinners I have had this week):

Course-wise I am genuinely really enjoying studying geography. I've managed to attend all my lectures (I only live a 5 minute walk away from campus so there's no excuse really) and the lecture content is interesting; my favourite module is one called 'Understanding Human Geography' in which we've covered topics such as multiculturalism, national and local identities and mobilities. I've also successfully completed four essays this semester! Essay writing was something I was worried about before starting uni because I had taken maths and chemistry which didn't involve essays alongside geography, and the essays in geography were never my strong point! However it turns out I didn't really need to worry as I've improved my essay writing with the help of my academic advisor over the four essays I've been set already, so I'm happy!  My academic advisor is so nice, chilled out and generally helpful with university life so that's great too! Finally, my coursemates are wonderful and I've made some good friends who like things that I like (particularly david tennant and daniel radcliffe, ha.). Christmas dinner number 1 was held in honour of Frankie's and Nicola's birthdays and it was amazing, particularly the warm chocolate-fudge-with-an-actual-layer-of-fudge-cake for desert!

One of the first pieces of advice I got about going to uni was to "find a church as soon as you can and get involved". The church I go to is called vinelife and meets in a building called 'the powerhouse' which is a community centre and library. Having visited a few churches this summer and in the first few weeks in Manchester, I really felt it was important to settle in one rather than visit more. There are so many churches in Manchester and all of the ones I visited only had good things to say about the others, which is so wonderful, but made it harder to decide where I should be! Vinelife own a coffee house at the top of the curry mile and everyone who works in there is a volunteer aka a cafe missionary so I've started doing that on a Monday morning! It's really exciting and there is so much to learn, especially because I don't drink coffee so have no idea what all the varieties are! I've also joined a lifegroup where we meet weekly and do bible study/outreach/socials together. There are 12 people in my lifegroup and every single one of them is incredible. This was Christmas dinner number 2, where we went round and each said one thing we were thankful for this year (so american) (but such a good idea) and one dream for 2014. There were some big dreams shared that evening, I'm so excited to see where God will take them. 

As I mentioned before, I live super close to campus which is so good for sleeping in and nipping back for lunch between lectures! My flatmates are really great and next year I'll be living with three of them in an actual house!! We're really excited, mainly for the sofa and how clean the kitchen will be! I really enjoy coming in from uni and cooking/chatting with them in the kitchen, and making and eating Christmas dinner number 3 was so much fun (even though I definitely did more eating and less cooking)! 

There were some not so good times too but at the moment I'm really happy and overall I've had a sound first semester at uni!

Bethan 

(Also, skype is so much better in the same time zone! At the beginning of term I'd get an email from my parents asking to skype at a certain time and my mind would automatically calculate what time that was in New York, even though I didn't need to. Small blessings.)

So long, farewell

..auf weidersehen, goodbye! (titled so because Hannah and I watched The Sound of Music in our time off at camp)

So, leaving was one of my least favourite parts of the summer. I was torn between really wanting to see my family and friends back home but also really not wanting the summer to be over and having to say goodbye to everyone who I'd become close to. During the week before leaving, we talked about going back home and not being part of camp; some things I was really going to miss like the community, the laughs, the silly greetings (#awkwardsalmon), the sunsets, the adventure course, being in a routine and being around kids all the time but there were some things I was not going to miss as much like the time difference between New York and London, showering with flipflops on because of gross-ness, cleaning the girls bathroom, the heatwaves, dealing with ticks and, being around kids all the time. I knew it would be strange leaving everyone I'd met that summer and coming home to a place where if I shouted "Hey [insert name here]!" I wouldn't get a shout back of "HEY WHAT" and then a continuation into some crazy camp song. 

I wrote here about saying goodbye at True North to Megan, Mike, Matt, Emma and Madison (so many M's) and after that we got into the international van for the last time and Karen drove us to the train station. Saying goodbye at the station was so strange because our train was waiting at the platform so we said goodbye then got on the train but it wasn't scheduled to leave for like 2 minutes so there was a period of waiting (us on the train, Karen on the platform)  in which, whilst almost all of us were crying/tearing up, Jess gave Karen her dancing chicken. True story. When the train left we did the classic waving for as long as possible out the window and then sat down for the journey into the city. It felt like a genuinely sad train journey but we looked through each others cameras at pictures of the past 7 weeks which was nice. Then Rachael, Katie, Jess and Pete had to get off at the station before Hannah and I so urgent hugs and goodbyes were had as they all needed to get off the train with their luggage to travel on to their next adventure. So it was just me and Hannah left on the train which pulled into Penn Station and we then lugged our suitcases up some stairs and navigated ourselves to the nearest bagel place, naturally. 

Then it was time for my final goodbye to Hannah, this one thankfully was less emotional than all the previous ones as I just sort of knew I'd see her again in the not too distant future so that was really great. We realised the other day that Hannah was the one person I spent every singe day with during my 8 weeks in the US which was really annoying pretty cool! I then headed to my hotel to get ready for my 4am flight the next day. 'Getting ready' involved spending all my change in the vending machine, dancing to the radio and rolling around on the massive bed all mixed in with bursts of loneliness - it was so strange to go from being constantly surrounded by friends to suddenly being alone in a hotel room!

So that's that. Summer: Complete!

And so that concludes my posts on my summer as a camp counselor. I could write about heaps more things, but will leave just a few more good memories here:

• The evening that began as talent show (in which us G3 girls performed the most Godly of raps) turned into a dance party involving Irish dancing with Rachael and a fab rendition of 'Kung-fu Fighting' with Hannah.
• When I dressed up as a caterpillar and escaped from the zoo (funniest thing ever).
• Getting sick from eating too many mangoes and the only way to recovery was having my kids dance like monkeys and sing songs from The Lion King.
• The absolutely insane cabin time where our girls turned off all the lights, had their torches on and did a fashion show.
• Eating ice-cream wherever possible.

Bethan 

This is the Sound

Most of my favourite moments of the summer were spent on, by or looking over the Long Island Sound.

On the day we arrived, one of the first things I remember doing was walking down to the Sound with Katie, Pete, Jess, Hannah and Rachel and walking along the beach for a bit, taking in our new surroundings which involved a beautiful clear sky, sandy beach and the sea! I remember having no idea what the summer would turn out to be like yet feeling like I was meant to be there and excited for what was to come.

Whilst we were in our last week of staff training, the 4th July rolled around! That evening was spent kayaking until sunset, playing american football on the beach, eating s'mores around a campfire, watching fireworks and stargazing. It was one of those nights that was quite honestly perfect.

Because I was a climbing instructor and not needed on the beach, I usually had time off when the morning activities down at the Sound were going on. This was good for me as the morning was a reasonable time to skype my family back home and also because one day it meant I got to ride in the motorboat! It was such a cool experience, made even more awesome by the nice weather and conversation with Kevin, head motorboator (legit term).

Aside from accompanying campers up and down the stairs to the beach, I think the only times I was properly down there with them was for the hardcore sandcastle competitions (oh, and beach clean up)! With our second group of kids, Jess and I created the lost city of Atlantis and with the third, a (real life) hermit crab which involved Jess folding herself up in a trash can, what a legend.

And finally, there were some absolutely amazing sunsets that I experienced throughout the summer, a real testament to God's beauty and power in creation. On my midweek days off I went down in the evening with a book, my ipod and journal and it was beautiful. 

Manchester's grey skies can't compare really!
Bethan
p.s. if you get the title reference, you win.

We took on diesel back in Montauk yesterday

When university determining A-level results came out in the UK, I was still at camp (in the last week when it was just the internationals) feeling pretty nervous. I had no certainty of where I would end up, I was in a different timezone to all of my friends back home who were getting results and no-one around me was in the same position which (understandably, I hope!) led me to feel super crazy on the evening before results day. I think I had done pretty well not worrying about it too much during the summer; the pace of camp and the kids and just being in the US were a great distraction, but suddenly it was the night before and all the nervousness I hadn't felt during the summer just came to land in my stomach. 

This in itself drove me insane because I didn't want to be thinking about results, I wanted to be fully enjoying our road trip to Montauk, which is the end part of Long Island (can you tell I'm a geographer, what a great description that was). Looking back, this was one of my only regrets of the summer- not allowing myself to properly enjoy our trip, particularly the dmc's in the van ride home, because I was too focused on what the next day would bring. Montauk is really great, a real surfer town full of small individual places to shop and eat and also many souvenir stores! We took a walk around the lighthouse which was lovely, and for a while we just sat and stared, watching the sun and the sea. It was really calming and a beautiful place to just be with friends.  

So the next morning arrived and my mum had said she would text me my results so they'd be on my phone when I woke up (it would have been about 5:30am NY time when she texted). However, there was no signal in the cabin so when I woke up I needed to creep out to the office without waking everyone- a challenge I thought I completed but in reality probably didn't due to my intense shuffling about and the creaking of the cabin door! 

It was just before 7am when I ran back to the cabin, after finding that I got what I needed to go to Manchester (Amen!!) and spending some time on facebook seeing how my friends had got on (they're pretty much all geniuses), debating whether to wake people up in my excitement or go back to bed for 15 minutes. When I peeked my head around the door to check out the situation, Rachael opened her eyes and I whispered that I got into Manchester and then I hear a chorus of " yaay!! well done!!!!" and  Katie, Hannah and Rach jumped out of their beds (Jess was the sleeper of the group, bless) to give me a hug which was sooo great and made me intensely happy. And then at lunch I got presented with a congratulations card from everyone! Best people ever!

Bethan

(we didn't actually take on diesel in Montauk but whatever, still relevant)

The Beginning of the End

After the five weeks of summer camp were over, us international staff stayed on an extra week (I don't exactly know why to be honest but I'm really glad we did) to clear up and do service projects around camp. This meant we had evenings off and were all in one cabin together again! As much as I was looking forward to this week, it meant that we'd be saying goodbye to the American staff which I was not looking forward to one bit.

After we said goodbye to our last group of campers, we did our usual round of cleaning the camp, then a bit of this:

and then had our last staff meeting together. During our final week, Megan had asked us to all anonymously give her a song that we related to this summer which she then compiled into a Camp DeWolfe Staff CD. Because it was all done anonymously, on the way to our staff meal together (Applebee's!) we had a good time listening to the CD and guessing which song belonged to who. Not going to lie, there are three songs on there I repeatedly skip over *cough* Elton John *cough*, but every time I press the skip button I think of the person whose song it is and it makes me smile. 

The next morning Katelyn and Tyrell left really early to drive to catch their flights, and this goodbye was awful and I was really trying not to cry but ended up doing so anyway and we were all in our pajamas at 7am teary-eyed which basically made me feel like a giant ball of sad. After they had left we went back to bed so when I woke up again it felt strange like it almost didn't happen. But it had. Anyway, later that day those of us who hadn't left went to Kevin Hill's house (going to expose him now as the guy who chose Elton's 'Written in the Stars' for the CD, what a guy) for a pool party! Aside from accidentally letting his dog loose around the neighborhood the moment I arrived, it was a pretty good time. That evening we headed to Port Jefferson, which is a cool town to visit and watched the sunset at the harbor, putting off saying more goodbyes. We hugged multiple times before it was time to separate ways; Zorn to catch his train, Hill back to his home, us internationals and Karen back to camp, Yorel and Corey to NYC and Dan stayed in Port Jeff cos it's his hometown. If ever there was a time to seriously use the phrase 'peak times', this is it. /\

 

I'm not sure if it would have been better for me to say goodbye to everyone at once to get it over with or if it was good saying goodbye to people at different stages the way I did. Right up until I watched Hannah leave Penn Station there had always been other people staying with me and sharing in the goodbye which I think made it easier for me along the way. 

To be honest, the more experience I have with goodbyes, the more I dislike them. But I'm pretty sure I'll see these guys again sometime. 

Bethan

NYC

This is probably going to be a simple, descriptive and picture heavy post because we did SO MUCH in one day and it was INSANE. I'd heard a lot about the ~*~bright lights~*~ and huge-ness of New York City and seen images on tv and in films but it's completely not the same as actually being there.

So. On our first weekend off, Hannah, Rachael and I went to stay with Steph and her Mom (that felt weird just typing that) (her mum/mom was super nice and hospitable!) in Bellmore which is still on Long Island but closer to nyc than camp is. That Friday evening we chilled out, ate food and watched a bit of Friends which was cool - watching Friends whilst in New York! All part of the American experience. Early the next morning we got on the LIRR to Penn Station. The only thing that disappointed me about the LIRR is that I couldn't keep my ticket as a souvenir because the conductor came to check we had a ticket and then took it away. But the journey was nice, we spent time planning where we were going to go that day and talking about what camp with kids would be like.

I should probably mention now that it was super hot that day. I couldn't tell you the exact degrees because America doesn't do Celsius but it was HOT. And in the city it was worse because concrete and people. At that point I was worried more about how I would cope for the whole summer in the heat than about how I would get on with the kids! Throughout the whole day Steph was the most perfect tour guide we could have had, she must have been to the places we went to so many times and was probably sick of the tourists but she didn't show it at all and was happy to take us wherever we wanted to and wherever she thought would be good for us to see. It made the day so much nicer, following someone who knew the city well, meaning we didn't have to get overwhelmed by navigating the streets and subway system!

First of all we went to Times Square, where everything is crazy and the shops are huge and the advertisements are bright. 

We then went on the ferry to Staten Island (which is kind of a joke in New York, bless) and back. It's a free service and goes past the Statue of Liberty, who is a fine lady and really very cool. We didn't walk around Staten Island at all, we just walked to the other side of the ferry port to get the ferry straight back. However Staten Island was the only place I could say I'd been when asking campers where they were from, so that was nice!

Then it was on to Seaport, which is a lovely area with cute shops and market stalls and it didn't feel like we were in the city at all! From there we had a great view of the Brooklyn bridge and Manhattan bridge.

Then it was time to meet up with the others who had been staying with Yorel in Queens and go to Central Park! We walked around the park, recognising places from films such as Maid in Manhattan, and then sat in the park for a bit playing a game on Yorel's ipad which involved acting and guessing and laughs. It was something which me and my friends back home would probably have done, and it made me happy to think that I'd be spending the rest of the summer with these guys. 

Probably my favourite tourist-y thing I did was go up the Rockefeller Centre with Rachael (Hannah and Steph had done it before). It's cheaper than going up the Empire State building and you actually get to see it properly! From the top you could see pretty much everything, it was so cool. Central Park is just some crazy random green space in the middle of a city, amazing. 

Finally, to round off the day we all went to Dallas BBQ, as recommended by Matt and Emma, it was so good! Definitely worth the wait we had because we were such a large group. They served huge portions and my expanding stomach was very happy. After the meal we went to Times Square in the evening which was awesome. 

Then it was a tired and content train journey back to Steph's for some much needed sleep after what had been one of the best and most exhausting days of my life.

Bethan

Churchin' USA

In the US we visited two very different churches during staff training. The first Saturday evening I was on Long Island we went to St James', which is part of the Episcopal church (similar to the Church of England back home), for a 'surf n chirp' night after a small service. It was the smallest, cutest church building I have ever been in and the congregation was also small and a real community. It did strike me as odd that we didn't sing at all, but that may have been because it was a short Saturday service. The pastor there had the biggest smile ever and really welcomed us all and the cookout afterwards was deeeelish! So much chicken, man it was great.

 The church we went to the next morning was True North, in a town called Bohemia which is the greatest name for a town ever. In some ways it was similar to my church at home except it was a lot larger in most respects, and they also serve bagels before the service (we really need to adopt this practice in England). I really enjoyed the worship here, one of the reasons being it was loud so I could sing as loud as I liked without feeling self conscious.

As we were walking out, I was looking at the sound desk, which was huuuuge, and told Karen I sometimes operate the sound desk back home and she laughed and said "of course you do Bethan" and I don't know why but I liked that it made sense that I did the sound. It was really interesting going to two very different churches in a short space of time and we had some good discussions about it in our staff devos; having been to two different denominations growing up, I've learnt that it is important to remember that it's the same God in both of those places, no matter how the service is carried out.

After camp was over, we went back to True North on an evening this time and afterwards headed on out to an american diner!! Which was hilarious because we all got our picture taken in front of it whilst the Americans laughed and thought we were ridiculous (as portrayed by Karen) because it was 'only a small town diner'. That night was one of my favourites because church was really great, we all got super excited over our spontaneous decision to go to a diner, we asked our waiter, Mike, to be in a photo with us and I had a gigantic lemon meringue pie.

True North was also the place us internationals said goodbye to Megan, Mike, Matt, Emma and Madison because we left on a Sunday morning and decided to go to church one last time before heading to Ronkonkoma train station. We had to leave during the worship at the end of the service and we didn't think we'd get to say goodbye properly since we were sitting in different places in the church but they all came running out to say goodbye and I gave Megan the first proper hug I'd given her all summer (she's not one for physical contact) and it was good and sad. 

In all of the services I went to, and at camp one time, I was introduced to the Doxology which is a really beautiful short hymn and it sounds really lovely all sung together. So a quick shout out to the doxology, yo.

Bethan

All Things New (food)

'All Things New' was the theme of camp this year (excellently executed in christian formation by Dan the Seminarian) and I definitely tried heaps of new things while I was there! (Heads up- A lot of the following things are likely to be food related. I was in america ok, food is pretty big over there. Heck, everything is pretty big over there! *not complaining*)

I'll start with s'mores a.k.a a true taste of america. Over the two months I was in the US, I totally became an expert in marshmallow toasting: set the marshmallow on fire a few times to get a nice crisp outside (if it's not burnt then you're doing it wrong), gently heat over the flame, whilst maintaining a smooth rotation of the stick, to melt the inside. Once that's done, place the marshmallow in between two graham (pronounced 'gram', missing out syllables what is that about america) crackers with chocolate, mmmm.

On the subject of food, I also ate a corndog for the first time (it was pretty alright but not something I'd choose over a hotdog), had chipotle (very good. would recommend.) and have since found and ate in a chipotle in London (yes!!). But the highlight of my summer food-wise would have to be pudding. We don't have it here, it's a bit like a custard but of a thinner consistency and it tastes way nicer and it's just great. Pudding also has some of my best memories of camp associated with it (evenings spent with the kids/sparking discussions of what pudding is in the UK/getting overly excited whenever pudding was mentioned/making pancakes) so overall it makes me super happy.

Something non-food related that I enjoyed learning were all the different sports and games. On my second night in America I vaguely remember watching the Stanley Cup ice hockey final but falling asleep due to jet lag.. Mike's team won though! Yeah! Chicago! During camp we played a lot of GaGa which is basically all players in an enclosed octagon with a ball that you have to dodge, pretty much. Something that I wish was popular over here, it's good fun! Capture the Flag was another good game and probably my favourite of the whole summer.  And I finally learnt the rules of baseball (but have since forgotten them)!

Bethan

Climbers

In each of the activity areas around camp we had the same group of kids for a week, which meant on the challenge course could see them progress through the elements, get to know each of them and encourage them to go further and higher as we went through the week.

In the first week, we had 7-11 year olds so a few of them were pretty small which made it trickier for them to reach some of the rocks on the wall to climb to the top. That first week was also suuuuuper hot out so climbing with sweaty hands and burning them on the rocks was also a challenge to deal with! What I loved about the younger kids is that they were so much more excited and proud of themselves when they did manage to climb to the top. One of my campers who managed to get up there told me after that she was so tired and wanted to give up but then heard God's voice saying "you can do it" and so she did! One of the best things I heard all summer.

Another camper that week, determined to make it to the top on the hard side of the wall, spent over ten minutes reaching, grabbing, falling off and swinging back on again attempting to overcome a tricky part of the wall. Telling her she could come down and try again after a rest didn't make a difference "but if I come down now, I might never make it this far again!" Eventually she made it but not without injury, her hands were covered in blisters which made me feel awful, but she didn't care at all and was just happy she made it to the top on the hard side!

And then throughout the sessions, there would be campers who didn't want to do much at all which was fine, but I was pretty proud when their fellow campers encouraged them to try more and they did, it was great (or maybe they just got sick of me saying "Are you sure you don't want to go up a little? Just climb the ladder? 100% sure? For definite?" "..Are you still sure?")

Bethan

Everything Skit

These blog posts are about to get real deep real fast, much like how I remember starting the summer during staff training. But first, just so we all know, I'm eating peanut butter on crackers for breakfast- how american (I miss seeing things and being like "that's so american!" eg outside mailboxes with the red flippy thing/red solo cups/corn dogs).

 

At camp, every evening we had a time before bed with our cabins called 'devos' (short for devotionals, I think). This was simply a time to talk about our christian formation time in the chapel, ask and answer questions to do with faith/God/life in general, catch up on how each others day had been through 'how pow wow' (How you saw God today, the low part of your day and the high part of the day) and also to pray. Throughout staff training we had devo time with the female staff in our cabin, going through Rob Bell's book 'Velvet Elvis' which is well worth reading and it made for some good discussions. On the second night of staff training, through being asked to share three moments or people in your life that helped shape you (or something to that effect), we all got to know each other really well, which was awesome that that happened so quickly and easily and it felt very God-planned to me as I felt super comfortable sharing and talking with these people I had only know for two to three days. And lets be honest I probably didn't say a massive amount during those first few days so it was pretty cool to be able to talk freely knowing that even though we all came from different backgrounds, we all share in the same love of Jesus and that's what's great.

 

During the camp sessions, Hannah had the idea of us as counselors performing the Everything skit to our campers, knowing how it affected us when we saw it and thinking it would be worthwhile for them to see, to let them think and to spark discussions. Those of you who have seen the Everything skit will know how powerful and moving it is, the message is strong and the Holy Spirit can really hit your heart and your head with that one. If you haven't seen it and would like to you can here. This is also an example of how at camp I just went with things; at home I would never have performed like that but it's camp and it's good and fun and totally worth it. After we had done the skit, there was a dicussion and time for the campers and counselors to voice how it made them feel, what they thought of when they saw each part and how they interpreted it. Following that, during the worship, us counselors prayed for any camper who wanted it which made me feel all of the things and was a special time and I felt God knitted us all together as a community throughout the week and we had been casted off that evening (apparently I do knitting analogies now, what a granny).

Bethan

#camplife

For those of you who don't know, this summer I spent two months working as a camp counselor at Camp DeWolfe, which is on Long Island in New York. As well as being a general counselor I also co-lead the challenge course which was AWESOME FUN and involved rockclimbing, high ropes and low ropes. Yeah. Pretty sweeeeeet. (and I gained genuine actual muscles in my arms from all the belaying. Jussayin'. #hardcore.)

I really wanted to write this blog post because things keep reminding me of camp and set me off on "oh! at camp this happened.." or "this summer we did this with the kids.." or  "it was so funny, we did this this and this.." and I know not everyone is interested, or I'll get halfway through a story and realise that the person I'm talking to is not completely paying attention or just being polite and I should probably stop talking because those small stories and memories aren't much interest to people who weren't there. Which I don't mind, but I need somewhere to shove all the really cool, and somewhat personal, parts of my summer at camp that aren't just "Yeah it was so amazing, the campers were great, I loved it, I did rockclimbing with the kids and there was the beach only like two minutes away and american food is weird but they have PUDDING which is great and no I didn't come back with an accent but I will be calling the toilet the 'bathroom' until I readjust."

Missing camp life- the beauty of our natural surroundings, the campers, my friends (who basically became my summer family)- sort of feels to me like a heartbreak (not that I'd know for sure having never been in a relationship, let alone had my heart broken over one. But thats besides the point). Which sounds and feels really insane to me but I dont think I've ever been more sad at leaving a group of people ever in my life ever. The day we said goodbye I cried (quietly and respectfully, mind) on four different types of public transport, breaking my previous record of one, yay. It just hit me that the people I'd spent two solid months with, who'd helped me out and been so much fun to be around, weren't going to be around any more and not only that, but some of them will be in a different country and different timezone which totally sucks and who knows if all of us will ever be together again because of circumstances and the flopping ocean, not cool.

This whole experience has definitely changed me (oh the cliché, it hurts). For instance I am totally a fan of peanut butter now. And I have arm muscles! Did I mention those yet? I HAVE THEM. I am pretty proud, not gonna lie. And I've got to make the most of them because they totally will not last. But in all seriousness being a camp counselor this summer definitely has made me more independent and confident and just generally more like 'I can do anything! Yeah! Go team!' which is cool and something I am thankful for, especially because I'm off to university in two weeks. (Two. Weeks. What.)

So, I've decided to write a series of posts 'that one time at summer camp' over the next few weeks or so for myself and whoever is interested, they won't be in any particualr order but will be small memories of my summer at camp which was the best ever and I totally recommend that if you have a free summer and are thinking of doing it then go for it, seriously.

 

 

Bethan

Heirs of the Past

I'm currently in my last week of school, before I go on study leave for my A-level exams (a.k.a "the most important exams of your life so far"). I'm revising most days, seeing friends, going to church, reading books, spending time with my family, scrolling endlessly through tweets, window shopping online and watching sad cat diaries on youtube.

But despite all these things going on in the present I feel like I'm constantly looking forward, past exams and on to The Rest Of My Life. Like I'm living in the future, always looking ahead. In the past, I have never really looked forward to change, but right now, I am strangely really really excited for the future and going to uni and all that fun stuff. I'm looking forward to meeting new people, studying what I love and making friends in a new environment. Where I can be myself, gain some independence, and take life as it comes.

I wrote that last week.

But now I've had my last day of school, my last ever lesson, my last ever bus ride with my sister to school and most likely last ever conversations with some of the people in my year, I am feeling really heavy-hearted. Don't get me wrong, I still feel the same as when I wrote the above paragraphs, but I also want to stay at school because it properly hit me just how much I will miss the people I've met over the past seven years. And now I just want to live in the past, remember the good times and never move on.

I have honestly had the best time ever at school and that is 100% down to my friends; heirs of the past, bootyshakers of the future! xxxxxxxxxx

Worry

Is worry ever a good thing? I mean this as a genuine question, rather than a rhetorical one because I don't know. When I get worried it's usually over one specific thing for a long time. Which I suppose is not healthy as it gives you a permanent-heavy-load-in-your-stomach feeling and in every undisturbed moment you can't help but think about this one thing on your mind. But does this just show you care about things? That you have things in life that are worth worrying about? If it's worry over 'more real' events, like the well-being of your friends/family as opposed to 'what if I get run over by a car tomorrow', is this better?

Do worry and faith contradict each other? If you are worried about a situation does this mean you don't trust that God's got it all planned? And if you pray about that situation yet still have that horrible gut-plunging worry feeling, is that wrong? Worry is a normal human feeling. It's different to being scared and to being sad. 

I don't know.